Scattered Thoughts

We get so attached to people, places, things, feelings, emotions, thoughts. Everything in our lives is temporary. Life is a continuum…it continues on. Why not just get up and go live somewhere across the world or country for a couple of years? We think of everything in such permanent terms making it hard for us to live in the now. What is this dire need for settling down we all search for so early on in our lives?
Why spend another minute not being happy? I will never sacrifice my happiness for any amount of money. I would rather be broke doing what I love than be rich doing something I dread. I want now more than ever to follow my dreams, which is acting-to become an actor, and etch out my own path not follow someone else’s pre-disposed path. I have one life to live, and I have to live it the way I want. I want my life to consist of my own decisions, choices, and experiences. I want to stay true and pure to myself. We all owe it to ourselves to stay real, to not let outside forces shape us into anything other than what we want.
I have to trust the potential I have within myself, trust that I have everything I need to make shit happen for myself. I’m genuinely a good person with honest intentions. Whatever I put out into the universe is gonna come back to me. If I’m unhappy with my life or whatever I’m doing-that’s only gonna keep coming back. If I am doing what I love; being the person I know I’m meant to be, doing with my life what I know I’m supposed to do-that will keep coming back. I’m young, capable, and single. I have literally nothing holding me back, no crazy life altering dilemmas, or experiences I’m afraid of missing out on, no real responsibilities here anymore. There is nothing. holding. me. back. Maybe that in itself is something…no I need to stop making excuses for myself. I’m a planner in my mind and spontaneous as fuck in my heart.
I will never be this young ever again, I need to just do what I want and become a student of the world around me. If I’m doing what I love… Side note, just heard a woman absurdly yelling and grunting, turns out it’s my neighbor having sex. I thought it was someone in massive pain, but she assured me it was just hot sex on a rainy day by saying, “yeah big daddy” anyways, if I’m doing what I love, I’m doing the best thing for me. Following your heart and doing what you love, that is the absolute best most nourishing thing you can do for yourself. There’s too much of the world to experience. Life is unpredictable, anything can happen. If I keep sitting here thinking one day…well that day may never come. Time to be impulsive and spontaneous. Rarely do we have any real control over our lives, I feel. We can plan all we want but somehow life tends to have its own plan. We can-and should-set goals for ourselves and work everyday towards achieving them, but still, anything can happen, so we have to learn to just flow with the different waves of the world. Simply put, carpe diem, seize the fucking day. Scattered thoughts, is exactly what this shit was. Thanks for hearing me out.
P.S. The more I travel and meet people, the further I get lost and the closer I find myself.

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