Feelings…

Ever feel like no one’s on the same page as you? Ok, let alone even the same book? I mean, you’ve got your peeps; family, friends, acquantices. But somehow you still feel a disconnect. Like that one oh so exceptional connection is missing from your life. Everyone’s got their own agenda, maybe you’re not necessarily someone’s very first priority anymore. I admit, it sucks. You can’t really blame them though, we all do it, it’s a part of life. I know my priorities tend to change, I’ve drifted apart from many. Well luckily change is constant, change is something we can always depend on. So however you’re feeling now, whether it be good or bad, won’t last, so relish in that shit. However, train yourself to see the good in every situation. 
I would never settle. Neither should you. I have too much love and respect for myself. I know what I bring to the table and what I have to offer to the right relationship. Maybe I shrug off every possible suitor because subconsciously I’ve still got some soul searching to do before I’m ready to share my life extensively with another being. I imagine sometimes though, wouldn’t it just be awesome to have someone I can share my inner most thought about thoughts with, someone who has the same mindset as me. Someone who gets me and my potential. Someone who challenges me. Someone who cares about the person I am and wants to be a part of the person I’m becoming. Someone who knows how to shut me up when I’m doing too much. Someone who still gives me my freedom. And someone I can do all the same, if not more, for. So now what? I know what I want, so why haven’t I obtained it? Well, like they say, everything happens when you least expect it. Meanwhile I’ll continue to work on myself, improve myself, and enjoy what I do have. I mean life is all about timing, the perfect, or not so perfect timing for every single thing we experience.
I’m straight up a believer of everything happening in its right time, when it’s truly meant to. When the stars finally align, or whatever. I go with the flow. I know that change is inevitable and therefore I embrace what’s to come and when it does, I allow it to simply be. 
But, can I be real, life sometimes has a way of getting to us all. You know, one of those days, you don’t even understand what you feel, but you feel it strong to your core; and yes it’s just temporary.. but sometimes it feels like it isn’t. I say though, to sulk in it, truly understand why you are feeling this way, try to get to the root of it. “In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.” It can be scary to get in touch with yourself on such a deep level, but believe me when you do, you’ll not only have a better understanding of yourself but also the people around you. 
My mind tends to be an endless vortex of thought after thought, often forgetting the original thought that started it all. “I’ve got a war in my mind,” is right, Lana. But please remember to always find your way out of the darkness. Whether it be, listening to music, looking up inspirational quotes on Pinterest, going for a walk at sunset, writing, taking a drive by the coast, chattin’ it up with a friend, you get the point. Learn to find pleasure in simple things. Feed your soul with luxurious vibes. Mellow your aura. Get centered. There’s so much more I want to say, but I will leave that for another post. I feel better now, writing always helps me. 
I’ll leave you with this, trust your journey, you will always come out stronger and a better person. Be aware and pay attention to your surroundings. Eliminate the toxic relationships. Love yourself. Do better. Be better. Be kind. Expect nothing. 
xo Addi

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